Nite Terror
"Nite Terror" Brush and ink mixed media collage triptych. Sheeba Maya ©2024.
Backstory
Since I was a kid, I’ve had bouts of reoccurring nightmares and occasionally wake myself up by screaming like a lunatic. (Fun!) Often I’m lucid enough to control it. But it doesn’t stop the terror or the screams. I’m just aware that I can get myself outta there… by screaming.
Proccess
I call this triptych Nite Terror because that’s what I saw in it when it was complete. This was one of those projects were I moved more on intuition than intention.
First I made lots of abstracts in that bumble color scheme I was obsessed with for a while. I just let my breath, mood, and environment dictate the sway of my body and the touch of my hand. I let that express itself in the tools and materials and the physics of the water. I let go of any hesitations.
Later, I came back to them and was compelled to make small collages from the sheets. I just felt things needed to be cut apart, rearranged, and redefined. Still moving mostly on intuition and in communion with the materials….minimizing second guessing…I made the tiny collages mounting them on 3 playing cards.
Meaning
Once the 3 were aligned together, I felt a sense of completion and a sense and meaning. In the center scene, I saw a monster on the left swooping in from the left panel. It was ready to devour the little figure on the right (me). At first I see it as the little figure being shocked and fearful of what it sees. Then I see it realizing it has the power to leave. So then it flees the dream through the panel on the right. It can fly right through that portal, out of this unbearable dimension, and back to an awake state. My screams are the sensation of me going through this portal.
After seeing this and reflecting on the process of making this piece, I realized that ultimately, I have control and power in this life, even when I feel extremely vulnerable.
